Playing with fear and arrogance

“You gotta play this game with fear and arrogance,” said Crash Davis to baseball prodigy Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh in one of my all-time favorite movies, Bull Durham.

But trust me, you can overdo it — on both counts simultaneously — too. The trick is striking the perfect balance.

Of late, fear has consumed me. It has consumed me to the point I’m exhausted. To the point I’ve been mentally paralyzed. As a result, I stopped use of social media the last six or so months (things went strangely south the end of October).

I folded in the tent and, if you weren’t a member of my immediate family or a friend who has beat down my door, you didn’t speak with me. I certainly haven’t been reaching out to people. And, in many cases, you might have called, and I didn’t answer. I’m sorry.

Oh, I’ve been busy and I’ve had legitimate reasons to be afraid: my son’s had health issues, I’ve had health issues, and I’ve been stressed and was working seven days a week during until mid-February. We’re both much better now, too.

Still, that’s no excuse for picking up the phone or answering email. I don’t if I’d call it arrogance, but it’s certainly selfish. And I’m truly sorry. If you’ve stuck by me or already forgiven me, thank you.

Well, I was so preoccupied folding in the tent that I let my original blog languish and (somewhere in between lays blame from my own neglect and shoddy work by my hosting provider) I lost everything from the old blog.

Welcome to the reboot: for me personally and the blog. Hopefully, from this point forward, you’ll find me somewhere with right mix of fear and arrogance.

And because I’m not a Time Lord, hopefully, you’ll oblige me in the coming weeks by reading some of the best that was (and reading email responses six months old) while I wallowed in fear.

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